Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
