I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
