He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
