Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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