you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
