I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
