Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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