I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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