Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
