i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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