If i come over, it means nothing
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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