I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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