belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
