we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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