you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize