I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
