Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
