Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
