i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
