I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Say something about gay babies.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
