I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
