Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
