Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
