wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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