She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
