are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize