just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
