he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
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Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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