So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
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If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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