So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
