glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
