he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
