Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
