Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you will always have a special place in my vag
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
