I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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