Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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