and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
