Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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