I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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