Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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