I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
