I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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