The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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