you guys were way drunker than both of me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
