Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
