i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
