Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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