so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
