Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
