Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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