Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
third nipple confirmed
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
