she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize