In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
