omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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