susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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