Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
