I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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