Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize