theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.