Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire

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(310): Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire http://tfl.nu/u3d6

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(513): View more from Ohio

I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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(513): I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House. http://tfl.nu/zhy5

Replies (27) Good night (858) Bad night (2865) Order T-Shirt
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(818): View more from California

I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

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(818): I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever. http://tfl.nu/1b0y

Replies (57) Good night (1178) Bad night (7242)
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(614): View more from Ohio

if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

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(614): if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle? (1-614): i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you. http://tfl.nu/6cnp

Replies (34) Good night (474) Bad night (3755)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010

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(828): got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010 http://tfl.nu/7969

Replies (26) Good night (5045) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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(864): View more from South Carolina

You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.

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(864): You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable. http://tfl.nu/afg8

Replies (11) Good night (5144) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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(417): View more from Missouri

You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

(573): View more from Missouri

Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

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(417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f

Replies (12) Good night (3204) Bad night (847)
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(408): View more from California

I don't have enough holes for all these australians

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(408): I don't have enough holes for all these australians http://tfl.nu/dq24

Replies (13) Good night (5773) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.

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(614): I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision. http://tfl.nu/xp34

Replies (7) Good night (4028) Bad night (698)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.

(919): View more from North Carolina

All she wanted was a cigarette

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(919): She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop. (919): All she wanted was a cigarette http://tfl.nu/ei15

Replies (1) Good night (1621) Bad night (549)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks

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(910): I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks http://tfl.nu/c5hi

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(770): View more from Georgia

My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester

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(770): My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester http://tfl.nu/20yd

Replies (11) Good night (520) Bad night (2853)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?

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(610): On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate? http://tfl.nu/oozq

Replies (8) Good night (1387) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!

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(714): sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER! http://tfl.nu/av7d

Replies (9) Good night (1096) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.

(303): View more from Colorado

God I adore you.

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(720): I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night. (303): God I adore you. http://tfl.nu/8nlv

Replies (2) Good night (1095) Bad night (483)

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