I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.