just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.