eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
