I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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